Week 4: Between Two Worlds
As I come to the end of the first month of this unique self-development course, I find myself between two worlds — the world I’ve lived in for the past few years, and the world I’m creating through my DMP, reading the scroll, doing the sits, reciting the cards.
The world I’ve lived in is familiar, comfortable, but also at times stagnant and stunting.
The world I’m creating thru MKMMA is fresh, new, bold, but also fragile and at times seems overwhelming in its grandiosity.
I’m of two minds, a native of an old world built by wins, losses, disappointments, habits and regrets, and an adventurer exploring a new world of my own creation.
Being between those worlds means living between two worlds of self talk — one that lifts me up and says I can, the other that beats me up and says I can’t.
Between two worlds of behavior — the stubborn child that doesn’t want to budge off the recliner and TV and the man sitting in a chair way past his bedtime acting on promises made to get the day’s assignments done.
I often really want to kick it into a higher gear and get totally immersed in this, and I sometimes want to just quit.
These worlds collide daily, sometimes hourly, and my mood swings from possibility to despair, hope to regret, passion to apathy.
And as I sit here completing yet another assignment, putting another brick into the road to a new world, I remember the phrase we learned this week, I can be what I will to be…I can be what I will to be… and the old world moves a step farther away and the new world moves a step closer.